Kurt Cobain, former lead singer and the driving force behind the genre-defining Nirvana, on many occasions has been likened to being the John Lennon of his generation. This must be taken with somewhat of a critical view due to comparative differences between Cobain and Nirvana pale and John Lennon and The Beatles in terms of commercial success and mainstream attention. Nevertheless, there remain a startling number of parallels between the two, not least their contempt towards fame and celebrity status that in many ways came as an unwanted side effect of critical acclaim.
This piece will examine a number of primary sources in order to compare and contrast the experiences and sentiments felt by both Lennon and Cobain as a result of fame: the drugs, the press, the public and of course the music. Further to this, it will examine a number of the occupational hazards, so to speak, that appear to coincide with the rock and roll lifestyle to ascertain whether they were encouraged through said lifestyle or whether they signify attempts at escapism from it.
The two sources from which the bulk of the source material will be taken include the interview of John Lennon and Yoko Ono by the influential journalists and publisher Jann Wenner and a collection of personal writings found in Kurt Cobain: Journals. Both sources provide a truly enlightening insight into the lives and inner thoughts of each individual. Lennon’s interview provides an extremely frank and honest set of answers. Wenner is not afraid to probe into areas that prompt clearly emotional responses and, at just under 50,000 words in length, the full transcript cannot be labelled as lacking in any depth. Whilst Lennon’s interview can be described as extremely candid, Cobain’s writings provide even more of a dramatic insight into the most personal thoughts, fears and dreams of a clearly troubled psyche. At times Cobain’s scribbled pages provide explosions of pure emotion and his innermost feelings. What’s more, the chronological nature of the entries allows the reader to develop a sense of change over time from the highs and the lows of teenage hood in Aberdeen, Washington, through to his tragic death.
Following an interview with Cobain for Rolling Stone, Michael Azerrad once wrote that comparisons between the two should not be written off as frivolous. Like Lennon, Cobain used music to “scream out an unhappy childhood”[1]. Similarly, much in the same way as Lennon, Cobain knew little more of life than the music industry that he turned to in an attempt at escape. Having listened to nothing but The Beatles until he was nine years of age[2], Cobain lists John Lennon as an idol and The Beatles as one of the key influences behind Nirvana: “She [Cobain’s Aunt] also during those first years had given me the first 3 Beatles albums for which I am forever grateful.”[3] Without The Beatles, therefore, Nirvana may never have come to exist and the name Kurt Cobain may never have come to public attention.
The use of drugs is perhaps the most obvious comparison to make between John Lennon and Kurt Cobain. Both men experimented with drugs from an early age with Lennon openly admitting that “I’ve been on pills since I was fifteen – no, since I was seventeen…I’ve always needed a pill to survive.”[4] Cobain similarly experimented with alcohol and drugs from a young age. He confessed to the use of heroin at the age of only twenty years old, admitting “I tried heroin for the first time in 1987”. However, it was after Nirvana’s second European tour that Cobain began to use heroin on a daily basis in answer to an ongoing stomach condition.[5] Lennon also had experiences with heroin claiming that “It was not too much fun”, but his main vice was that of LSD, on which, he admitted “I must have had a thousand trips.”[6] Despite ongoing relationships with drugs, both Lennon and Cobain commented publicly on the negative effect that substance abuse had, although never going as far as to criticise those who made the choice to experiment.
"All drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem. They're no good at all. But I'm not going to go around preaching against them. It's your choice, but in my experience, I've found they're a waste of time."[7]
Lennon discusses similar issues claiming that:
“Being a Beatle nearly cost me my life, and it certainly cost me a great deal of my health – the drinking and drugs having started before we were professional musicians – all in an effort to reach ‘out there’.”[8]
In spite of publicly denouncing the effects of drug use, both Lennon and Cobain would continue to fight an ongoing battle with drugs. The exact extent to which celebrity status contributed towards their drug habits is open to debate. However, through the apparent ease of accessibility of such substances within rock ‘n’ roll environments, the reliance on drugs as a creative element or as a form of escapism, it seems that fame, in one way or another, was a significant driving force behind the continued drug use of both figures.
Another aspect of life in the public eye that is evident is that of the unwanted attention from journalists. Cobain in particular felt that journalists would attempt to pry into his personal life, trying to manufacture a story where there was no story to be had. Throughout later journal entries, Cobain became increasingly paranoid and frustrated by the media looking for ‘tabloid-esque’ stories. “Rock bands are at the mercy of journalists”, he writes, “I’m fed up with having long winded 2hr long discussions with journalists and finding out that they have chosen all of the unimportant tabloid-esque quotes…There are quadruple the amount of bad rock journalists that there are bad rock bands.” [9] Cobain clearly saw journalists as a vulture-like presence, constantly looking for scraps upon which to base articles and fill column inches. More than most, Cobain was subject to seemingly endless rumours in regard to his health and association with drugs, with journalists regularly questioning his mental and physical state.
“I’ve heard so many insanely exaggerated stories or reports from my friends and I’ve read so many Freudian evaluations of my personality and how I’m a notoriously fucked up heroin addict, alcoholic, self destructive, yet overtly sensitive frail, fragile, soft spoken, narcoleptic, neurotic little piss ant who at any minute is going to O.D. Jump of a roof and wig out. Blow my head off or all three at once”[10]
In the end however, it would appear that the journalists were indeed right to question Cobain’s mental state. In the face of relentless attention, it could be argued that Cobain saw no alternative other than to join the doubters by proving them right.
Lennon had a similarly strained relationship with the media both during his time with The Beatles as well as subsequently. Lennon claims that the press both in the USA and in Britain had been out to undermine The Beatles from the very beginning, looking for any signs of weakness to take advantage of and exploit: “Well they [the press] have been trying to knock us down since we began”.[11] Never more was this the case, according to Lennon, than in regard to the marriage of his second wife, Yoko Ono: “The English press had a field day venting all their pent-up hatred of foreigners on Yoko”[12]. It is necessary to highlight, however, that Lennon was also able to use the press to promote his own agenda in return. A prime example of this was Lennon and Ono’s bed-in that took place in Amsterdam, about which Lennon claimed: “They were great events when you think that the world newspaper headlines were the fact that we were a married couple in bed talking about peace.”[13] Lennon was perhaps more successful at handling pressure from the media as a result of his view that the relationship was one that could work both ways as opposed to Cobain who appeared to see same relationship as a rather relentless barrage.
The similarity in this area for both Lennon and Cobain is a sense of paranoia – the idea that the press were constantly out to get you. Equally, though, these feelings present a rather egotistical stance, particularly in the case of Lennon, who seemed to see himself as being constantly at the centre of attention: “…people accused us of doing everything for the sake of publicity. Wrong again. Everything we did was publicised anyway. It still is – even though we haven’t talked to the press in years. It makes no difference; it seems they can’t get along without us.”[14]
This raises the further issue of self image and self worth as another facet of life that both affects and is affected by celebrity status. Furthermore, it provides a characteristic upon which Lennon and Cobain differ quite dramatically. Nils Bernstein, a good friend of the members of Nirvana, was once quoted as saying, “People are treating him [Cobain] like a god, and it pisses him off. They’re giving Kurt this elevated sense of importance that he feels he doesn’t have or deserve.”[15] Lennon on the other hand, never appeared to suffer from a lack of any self confidence. In answer to the question ‘Do you think you are a genius?’ he replied with a blunt “Yes. If there is such a thing, I am one.”[16] This demonstrates almost a delusion of grandeur, such confidence in one’s own ability that nothing, no form of criticism or attack, could breach. Such a hard exterior could be the key difference between Lennon and Cobain, offering an explanation as to how and why Lennon was able to cope with the constant pressures brought on by fame that Cobain simply could not emulate nor had any desire to do so. Cobain wrote almost entirely to the contrary openly stating, “I am threatened by ridicule” I kind of feel like a dork writing about the band and myself like this as if I were an American pop-rock icon [or] demi god”[17]
Based on the testimony examined thus far, it quickly becomes impossible to overlook the impact that celebrity status had on lives of both John Lennon and Kurt Cobain, creating new and exacerbating existing concerns. In regard to drugs, the rock ‘n’ roll, touring environment in which Lennon and Cobain found themselves put them in close proximity with flamboyant personalities and situations in which drugs were both easily available and encouraged. However, it must be remembered that both men had experimented with drugs before achieving fame, which would suggest that celebrity status meant a reinforcement of existing issues in the shape of more potent substances, increased availability and a forgiving encouragement.
As well as pressure from peers, it can be said that living under the pressure of intense scrutiny leaves any flaws within a character’s makeup liable to be exposed; especially in terms of self worth and belief. In the cases of Lennon and Cobain, despite some similarities in experience, for the most part, they reacted entirely differently in this regard. Both figures seemed to develop a sense of paranoia – that the press, the public, other musicians were a constant threat, looking for signs of weakness to exploit or looking to take advantage for their own gain. In response to this growing fear and suspicion, in contrast to Cobain, Lennon seemed to absorb criticism, using it to affirm his own self-beliefs. When discussing a desire for The Beatles to be bigger than Elvis, Lennon responded “Because Elvis was the biggest. We wanted to be the biggest. Doesn’t everybody?”[18] Based upon this logic, Lennon would see attempts to bring himself and The Beatles down as attempts by others to take on the biggest and therefore the best – the top of the pyramid. This adds further weight to the view of John Lennon as being a somewhat egotistical character and also shows a sense of drive and confidence that would allow for him to take the good along with the bad in pursuit of his ultimate aims.
Cobain on the other hand openly stated: “But honestly I never wanted all of this attention”, “I feel like I am being evaluated 24 hours a day. Being in a band is hard work and the acclaim itself isn’t worth it unless you still like playing. And I do, god I love playing live”[19]. Here then, it can be said that Cobain was able to cope, to an extent, under the shadow of celebrity whilst the thrill and love of playing live made up for the negative aspects. When the pleasure and ecstasy of live performance dissipated it appears that Cobain did not possess the same single minded strength of character to continue on regardless. Cobain clearly felt that his was not a lifestyle that he could continue to live. In his final piece, his suicide letter, Cobain confessed:
“For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.”[20]
Here, therefore, can be seen Cobain’s ultimate addiction – performing live – an addiction that made all of the impacts and impasses of fame temporarily worthwhile. However, it appears that, just like any drug, Cobain’s only saving grace to fame lost its edge. The highs that live performance once afforded became harder and harder to reach and as a result Cobain lost the one aspect of fame that made the rest worthwhile.
In stark contrast, when questioned if he could foresee a time when he would retire Lennon replied “No, I couldn’t you know”, to which Yoko followed up, “He’ll probably work until eighty or until he dies.”[21] True to this word, Lennon did work until he died. However, his life was equally cut short tragically as a result of his own fame and success.
Given the overriding impact that fame had on the lives of both Lennon and Cobain, one final question remains as to whether or not either would have given it up. When questioned to that exact extent Lennon burst out: “If I could be a fucking fisherman, I would! If I had the capabilities of being something other than I am, I would. It’s not fun being an artist.”[22] Whilst on the surface this comment appears quite self explanatory, it could be argued that it is rather loaded. Lennon claims that if he could have chosen another life then he would have. This would therefore suggest that he saw no alternative; Lennon refers to life as a musician, as an artist, as something of a curse. Although he was in many ways dissatisfied with the impeachments upon his personal life, the alternative could be said to have been seen as even more unsatisfying. Leading on from this train of thought, Lennon himself wrote that having gone done the path of fame and celebrity he would make no attempt at reversal: “I try not to have any regrets and don’t intend to waste any energy and time in an effort to become anonymous. That’s as dumb as becoming famous in the first place.”[23]
Based on his testimony, Cobain never adapted to fame to the same extent as Lennon. “I wish I could have taken a class on becoming a rock star. It might have prepared me for this”[24] he confessed. In spite of this, Cobain always provided a sense that he would rather have lived fast and died young than simply existed. From one of the earlier entries in his journals Cobain claimed that “I don’t want a granddaughter of mine changing my soiled rubber underwear…clinging to existence just so I can reminisce about being a professional reminiscent.”[25] Although Cobain was obviously deeply affected by the impact of his own success it could be argued that a dull, mundane, life for Cobain would have been equally torturous. As he puts it in his final letter “it’s better to burn out than to fade away.”[26]
To conclude, from the similarities in experience of both Lennon and Cobain a pattern can be said to emerge, confirming a number of the impacts brought on as a result of fame within in the music industry. The most significant of these is the intense scrutiny that life in the public eye brings with it. This scrutiny acts as the basis for further issues as it can lead to the exposure of personal flaws, or to criticism or judgement of the actions of the individuals to which it is subject. What’s more, celebrity status seems be accompanied by an environment of vices and excess that is bear little resemblance to everyday life. As Lennon describes, “the bigger we go the more unreality we had to face.”[27] Equally, it could be said that Lennon and Cobain’s similarly difficult upbringing demonstrates a particular type of person to which such a career appeals. The angst of an unhappy childhood, a creative side left unfulfilled by everyday life and a willingness to experiment provided the foundations for both Lennon and Cobain’s musical careers but also laid the foundations for issues in later life. Whilst the similarities of Lennon and Cobain can be a said to provide a view of the impact of celebrity, the differences can equally be used to examine why Lennon appeared much better suited to dealing with such pressures than Cobain – although it must be noted that the evidence provided by Lennon came in a much more public setting. Nonetheless, based on the respective testimonies, it appears that Lennon as an individual was more immune to public attention and was therefore more able to brush off these pressures, rather than letting them becoming all-consuming. As Lennon himself put it, “You have to be a bastard to make it, man.” [28]
Bibliography
Books
Cobain, K. Kurt Cobain: Journals (Harmondsworth: Penguin, 2002).
Lennon, J. Skywriting by Word of Mouth (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 1996).
Articles
Azerrad, M. ‘Kurt Cobain: I’m Not Gonna Crack!’, Vox, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-im-not-gonna-crack.
Azerrad, M. ‘Nirvana: Inside the Heart and Mind of Kurt Cobain’, Rolling Stone, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/nirvana-inside-the-heart-and-mind-of-kurt-cobain.
Cobain, K. ‘Suicide Note’: http://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note.html.
Sutcliffe, P. ‘Kurt Cobain: King of Pain’, Q, 1993: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-king-of-pain.
Wenner, J. ‘Interview of John Lennon and Yoko Ono by Jann Wenner’, December 1970: http://www.jojoplace.org/MovedPages/LennonRemembers/Lennonremembers.txt.
[1] Michael Azerrad, ‘Nirvana: Inside the Heart and Mind of Kurt Cobain’, Rolling Stone, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/nirvana-inside-the-heart-and-mind-of-kurt-cobain.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Kurt Cobain, Kurt Cobain: Journals (Harmondsworth: Penguin, 2002) p.150.
[4] John Lennon, ‘Interview of John Lennon and Yoko Ono by Jann Wenner’, December 1970: http://www.jojoplace.org/MovedPages/LennonRemembers/Lennonremembers.txt, p.31.
[5] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, p.197.
[6] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.28.
[7] Kurt Cobain cited in Azerrad, ‘Kurt Cobain: I’m Not Gonna Crack!’ Vox, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-im-not-gonna-crack.
[8] John Lennon, Skywriting by Word of Mouth (New York, NY: Harper Collins, 1996) p.36.
[9] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, pp.182, 190.
[10] Ibid., p.181.
[11] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.38
[12] Lennon, Skywriting by Word of Mouth, p.15
[13] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.23.
[14] Ibid., p.19.
[15] Nils Bernstein cited in Azerrad, ‘Nirvana’.
[16] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.20.
[17] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, pp.95, 185.
[18] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.25.
[19] Kurt Cobain, pp.107, 184.
[20] Kurt Cobain, ‘Suicide Note’: http://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note.html.
[21] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.82.
[22] Ibid. pp.59-60.
[23] Lennon, Skywriting by Word of Mouth, p.19
[24] Kurt Cobain cited in Sutcliffe, ‘Kurt Cobain: King of Pain’, 1993: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-king-of-pain.
[25] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, p.84.
[26] Kurt Cobain, ‘Suicide Note’: http://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note.html.
[27] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.59.
[28] Ibid., p.35.
This piece will examine a number of primary sources in order to compare and contrast the experiences and sentiments felt by both Lennon and Cobain as a result of fame: the drugs, the press, the public and of course the music. Further to this, it will examine a number of the occupational hazards, so to speak, that appear to coincide with the rock and roll lifestyle to ascertain whether they were encouraged through said lifestyle or whether they signify attempts at escapism from it.
The two sources from which the bulk of the source material will be taken include the interview of John Lennon and Yoko Ono by the influential journalists and publisher Jann Wenner and a collection of personal writings found in Kurt Cobain: Journals. Both sources provide a truly enlightening insight into the lives and inner thoughts of each individual. Lennon’s interview provides an extremely frank and honest set of answers. Wenner is not afraid to probe into areas that prompt clearly emotional responses and, at just under 50,000 words in length, the full transcript cannot be labelled as lacking in any depth. Whilst Lennon’s interview can be described as extremely candid, Cobain’s writings provide even more of a dramatic insight into the most personal thoughts, fears and dreams of a clearly troubled psyche. At times Cobain’s scribbled pages provide explosions of pure emotion and his innermost feelings. What’s more, the chronological nature of the entries allows the reader to develop a sense of change over time from the highs and the lows of teenage hood in Aberdeen, Washington, through to his tragic death.
Following an interview with Cobain for Rolling Stone, Michael Azerrad once wrote that comparisons between the two should not be written off as frivolous. Like Lennon, Cobain used music to “scream out an unhappy childhood”[1]. Similarly, much in the same way as Lennon, Cobain knew little more of life than the music industry that he turned to in an attempt at escape. Having listened to nothing but The Beatles until he was nine years of age[2], Cobain lists John Lennon as an idol and The Beatles as one of the key influences behind Nirvana: “She [Cobain’s Aunt] also during those first years had given me the first 3 Beatles albums for which I am forever grateful.”[3] Without The Beatles, therefore, Nirvana may never have come to exist and the name Kurt Cobain may never have come to public attention.
The use of drugs is perhaps the most obvious comparison to make between John Lennon and Kurt Cobain. Both men experimented with drugs from an early age with Lennon openly admitting that “I’ve been on pills since I was fifteen – no, since I was seventeen…I’ve always needed a pill to survive.”[4] Cobain similarly experimented with alcohol and drugs from a young age. He confessed to the use of heroin at the age of only twenty years old, admitting “I tried heroin for the first time in 1987”. However, it was after Nirvana’s second European tour that Cobain began to use heroin on a daily basis in answer to an ongoing stomach condition.[5] Lennon also had experiences with heroin claiming that “It was not too much fun”, but his main vice was that of LSD, on which, he admitted “I must have had a thousand trips.”[6] Despite ongoing relationships with drugs, both Lennon and Cobain commented publicly on the negative effect that substance abuse had, although never going as far as to criticise those who made the choice to experiment.
"All drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem. They're no good at all. But I'm not going to go around preaching against them. It's your choice, but in my experience, I've found they're a waste of time."[7]
Lennon discusses similar issues claiming that:
“Being a Beatle nearly cost me my life, and it certainly cost me a great deal of my health – the drinking and drugs having started before we were professional musicians – all in an effort to reach ‘out there’.”[8]
In spite of publicly denouncing the effects of drug use, both Lennon and Cobain would continue to fight an ongoing battle with drugs. The exact extent to which celebrity status contributed towards their drug habits is open to debate. However, through the apparent ease of accessibility of such substances within rock ‘n’ roll environments, the reliance on drugs as a creative element or as a form of escapism, it seems that fame, in one way or another, was a significant driving force behind the continued drug use of both figures.
Another aspect of life in the public eye that is evident is that of the unwanted attention from journalists. Cobain in particular felt that journalists would attempt to pry into his personal life, trying to manufacture a story where there was no story to be had. Throughout later journal entries, Cobain became increasingly paranoid and frustrated by the media looking for ‘tabloid-esque’ stories. “Rock bands are at the mercy of journalists”, he writes, “I’m fed up with having long winded 2hr long discussions with journalists and finding out that they have chosen all of the unimportant tabloid-esque quotes…There are quadruple the amount of bad rock journalists that there are bad rock bands.” [9] Cobain clearly saw journalists as a vulture-like presence, constantly looking for scraps upon which to base articles and fill column inches. More than most, Cobain was subject to seemingly endless rumours in regard to his health and association with drugs, with journalists regularly questioning his mental and physical state.
“I’ve heard so many insanely exaggerated stories or reports from my friends and I’ve read so many Freudian evaluations of my personality and how I’m a notoriously fucked up heroin addict, alcoholic, self destructive, yet overtly sensitive frail, fragile, soft spoken, narcoleptic, neurotic little piss ant who at any minute is going to O.D. Jump of a roof and wig out. Blow my head off or all three at once”[10]
In the end however, it would appear that the journalists were indeed right to question Cobain’s mental state. In the face of relentless attention, it could be argued that Cobain saw no alternative other than to join the doubters by proving them right.
Lennon had a similarly strained relationship with the media both during his time with The Beatles as well as subsequently. Lennon claims that the press both in the USA and in Britain had been out to undermine The Beatles from the very beginning, looking for any signs of weakness to take advantage of and exploit: “Well they [the press] have been trying to knock us down since we began”.[11] Never more was this the case, according to Lennon, than in regard to the marriage of his second wife, Yoko Ono: “The English press had a field day venting all their pent-up hatred of foreigners on Yoko”[12]. It is necessary to highlight, however, that Lennon was also able to use the press to promote his own agenda in return. A prime example of this was Lennon and Ono’s bed-in that took place in Amsterdam, about which Lennon claimed: “They were great events when you think that the world newspaper headlines were the fact that we were a married couple in bed talking about peace.”[13] Lennon was perhaps more successful at handling pressure from the media as a result of his view that the relationship was one that could work both ways as opposed to Cobain who appeared to see same relationship as a rather relentless barrage.
The similarity in this area for both Lennon and Cobain is a sense of paranoia – the idea that the press were constantly out to get you. Equally, though, these feelings present a rather egotistical stance, particularly in the case of Lennon, who seemed to see himself as being constantly at the centre of attention: “…people accused us of doing everything for the sake of publicity. Wrong again. Everything we did was publicised anyway. It still is – even though we haven’t talked to the press in years. It makes no difference; it seems they can’t get along without us.”[14]
This raises the further issue of self image and self worth as another facet of life that both affects and is affected by celebrity status. Furthermore, it provides a characteristic upon which Lennon and Cobain differ quite dramatically. Nils Bernstein, a good friend of the members of Nirvana, was once quoted as saying, “People are treating him [Cobain] like a god, and it pisses him off. They’re giving Kurt this elevated sense of importance that he feels he doesn’t have or deserve.”[15] Lennon on the other hand, never appeared to suffer from a lack of any self confidence. In answer to the question ‘Do you think you are a genius?’ he replied with a blunt “Yes. If there is such a thing, I am one.”[16] This demonstrates almost a delusion of grandeur, such confidence in one’s own ability that nothing, no form of criticism or attack, could breach. Such a hard exterior could be the key difference between Lennon and Cobain, offering an explanation as to how and why Lennon was able to cope with the constant pressures brought on by fame that Cobain simply could not emulate nor had any desire to do so. Cobain wrote almost entirely to the contrary openly stating, “I am threatened by ridicule” I kind of feel like a dork writing about the band and myself like this as if I were an American pop-rock icon [or] demi god”[17]
Based on the testimony examined thus far, it quickly becomes impossible to overlook the impact that celebrity status had on lives of both John Lennon and Kurt Cobain, creating new and exacerbating existing concerns. In regard to drugs, the rock ‘n’ roll, touring environment in which Lennon and Cobain found themselves put them in close proximity with flamboyant personalities and situations in which drugs were both easily available and encouraged. However, it must be remembered that both men had experimented with drugs before achieving fame, which would suggest that celebrity status meant a reinforcement of existing issues in the shape of more potent substances, increased availability and a forgiving encouragement.
As well as pressure from peers, it can be said that living under the pressure of intense scrutiny leaves any flaws within a character’s makeup liable to be exposed; especially in terms of self worth and belief. In the cases of Lennon and Cobain, despite some similarities in experience, for the most part, they reacted entirely differently in this regard. Both figures seemed to develop a sense of paranoia – that the press, the public, other musicians were a constant threat, looking for signs of weakness to exploit or looking to take advantage for their own gain. In response to this growing fear and suspicion, in contrast to Cobain, Lennon seemed to absorb criticism, using it to affirm his own self-beliefs. When discussing a desire for The Beatles to be bigger than Elvis, Lennon responded “Because Elvis was the biggest. We wanted to be the biggest. Doesn’t everybody?”[18] Based upon this logic, Lennon would see attempts to bring himself and The Beatles down as attempts by others to take on the biggest and therefore the best – the top of the pyramid. This adds further weight to the view of John Lennon as being a somewhat egotistical character and also shows a sense of drive and confidence that would allow for him to take the good along with the bad in pursuit of his ultimate aims.
Cobain on the other hand openly stated: “But honestly I never wanted all of this attention”, “I feel like I am being evaluated 24 hours a day. Being in a band is hard work and the acclaim itself isn’t worth it unless you still like playing. And I do, god I love playing live”[19]. Here then, it can be said that Cobain was able to cope, to an extent, under the shadow of celebrity whilst the thrill and love of playing live made up for the negative aspects. When the pleasure and ecstasy of live performance dissipated it appears that Cobain did not possess the same single minded strength of character to continue on regardless. Cobain clearly felt that his was not a lifestyle that he could continue to live. In his final piece, his suicide letter, Cobain confessed:
“For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.”[20]
Here, therefore, can be seen Cobain’s ultimate addiction – performing live – an addiction that made all of the impacts and impasses of fame temporarily worthwhile. However, it appears that, just like any drug, Cobain’s only saving grace to fame lost its edge. The highs that live performance once afforded became harder and harder to reach and as a result Cobain lost the one aspect of fame that made the rest worthwhile.
In stark contrast, when questioned if he could foresee a time when he would retire Lennon replied “No, I couldn’t you know”, to which Yoko followed up, “He’ll probably work until eighty or until he dies.”[21] True to this word, Lennon did work until he died. However, his life was equally cut short tragically as a result of his own fame and success.
Given the overriding impact that fame had on the lives of both Lennon and Cobain, one final question remains as to whether or not either would have given it up. When questioned to that exact extent Lennon burst out: “If I could be a fucking fisherman, I would! If I had the capabilities of being something other than I am, I would. It’s not fun being an artist.”[22] Whilst on the surface this comment appears quite self explanatory, it could be argued that it is rather loaded. Lennon claims that if he could have chosen another life then he would have. This would therefore suggest that he saw no alternative; Lennon refers to life as a musician, as an artist, as something of a curse. Although he was in many ways dissatisfied with the impeachments upon his personal life, the alternative could be said to have been seen as even more unsatisfying. Leading on from this train of thought, Lennon himself wrote that having gone done the path of fame and celebrity he would make no attempt at reversal: “I try not to have any regrets and don’t intend to waste any energy and time in an effort to become anonymous. That’s as dumb as becoming famous in the first place.”[23]
Based on his testimony, Cobain never adapted to fame to the same extent as Lennon. “I wish I could have taken a class on becoming a rock star. It might have prepared me for this”[24] he confessed. In spite of this, Cobain always provided a sense that he would rather have lived fast and died young than simply existed. From one of the earlier entries in his journals Cobain claimed that “I don’t want a granddaughter of mine changing my soiled rubber underwear…clinging to existence just so I can reminisce about being a professional reminiscent.”[25] Although Cobain was obviously deeply affected by the impact of his own success it could be argued that a dull, mundane, life for Cobain would have been equally torturous. As he puts it in his final letter “it’s better to burn out than to fade away.”[26]
To conclude, from the similarities in experience of both Lennon and Cobain a pattern can be said to emerge, confirming a number of the impacts brought on as a result of fame within in the music industry. The most significant of these is the intense scrutiny that life in the public eye brings with it. This scrutiny acts as the basis for further issues as it can lead to the exposure of personal flaws, or to criticism or judgement of the actions of the individuals to which it is subject. What’s more, celebrity status seems be accompanied by an environment of vices and excess that is bear little resemblance to everyday life. As Lennon describes, “the bigger we go the more unreality we had to face.”[27] Equally, it could be said that Lennon and Cobain’s similarly difficult upbringing demonstrates a particular type of person to which such a career appeals. The angst of an unhappy childhood, a creative side left unfulfilled by everyday life and a willingness to experiment provided the foundations for both Lennon and Cobain’s musical careers but also laid the foundations for issues in later life. Whilst the similarities of Lennon and Cobain can be a said to provide a view of the impact of celebrity, the differences can equally be used to examine why Lennon appeared much better suited to dealing with such pressures than Cobain – although it must be noted that the evidence provided by Lennon came in a much more public setting. Nonetheless, based on the respective testimonies, it appears that Lennon as an individual was more immune to public attention and was therefore more able to brush off these pressures, rather than letting them becoming all-consuming. As Lennon himself put it, “You have to be a bastard to make it, man.” [28]
Bibliography
Books
Cobain, K. Kurt Cobain: Journals (Harmondsworth: Penguin, 2002).
Lennon, J. Skywriting by Word of Mouth (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 1996).
Articles
Azerrad, M. ‘Kurt Cobain: I’m Not Gonna Crack!’, Vox, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-im-not-gonna-crack.
Azerrad, M. ‘Nirvana: Inside the Heart and Mind of Kurt Cobain’, Rolling Stone, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/nirvana-inside-the-heart-and-mind-of-kurt-cobain.
Cobain, K. ‘Suicide Note’: http://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note.html.
Sutcliffe, P. ‘Kurt Cobain: King of Pain’, Q, 1993: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-king-of-pain.
Wenner, J. ‘Interview of John Lennon and Yoko Ono by Jann Wenner’, December 1970: http://www.jojoplace.org/MovedPages/LennonRemembers/Lennonremembers.txt.
[1] Michael Azerrad, ‘Nirvana: Inside the Heart and Mind of Kurt Cobain’, Rolling Stone, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/nirvana-inside-the-heart-and-mind-of-kurt-cobain.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Kurt Cobain, Kurt Cobain: Journals (Harmondsworth: Penguin, 2002) p.150.
[4] John Lennon, ‘Interview of John Lennon and Yoko Ono by Jann Wenner’, December 1970: http://www.jojoplace.org/MovedPages/LennonRemembers/Lennonremembers.txt, p.31.
[5] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, p.197.
[6] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.28.
[7] Kurt Cobain cited in Azerrad, ‘Kurt Cobain: I’m Not Gonna Crack!’ Vox, 1992: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-im-not-gonna-crack.
[8] John Lennon, Skywriting by Word of Mouth (New York, NY: Harper Collins, 1996) p.36.
[9] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, pp.182, 190.
[10] Ibid., p.181.
[11] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.38
[12] Lennon, Skywriting by Word of Mouth, p.15
[13] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.23.
[14] Ibid., p.19.
[15] Nils Bernstein cited in Azerrad, ‘Nirvana’.
[16] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.20.
[17] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, pp.95, 185.
[18] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.25.
[19] Kurt Cobain, pp.107, 184.
[20] Kurt Cobain, ‘Suicide Note’: http://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note.html.
[21] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.82.
[22] Ibid. pp.59-60.
[23] Lennon, Skywriting by Word of Mouth, p.19
[24] Kurt Cobain cited in Sutcliffe, ‘Kurt Cobain: King of Pain’, 1993: http://www.rocksbackpages.com/Library/Article/kurt-cobain-king-of-pain.
[25] Cobain, Kurt Cobain, p.84.
[26] Kurt Cobain, ‘Suicide Note’: http://kurtcobainssuicidenote.com/kurt_cobains_suicide_note.html.
[27] Lennon, ‘Interview’, p.59.
[28] Ibid., p.35.